Writing Style Equals Mood

It probably would not be hard for anyone to go back and read several posts here in succession and notice a pattern of what mood I was in when I wrote it. At least it is easy for me. The type of font, size, color and above all the subject and "tone in my voice" changes often. Sometimes I review a page and think to myself "you have got to be joking!" What makes it worse is when I visit a couple of my favorite blogs and see how professional they look and how their writing style and 'tone' flows the same one after the other. I came close to deleting over half of the ones I wrote.

In just about every category there is including writing, appearance and needful information this blog does not rank very high. No two people are alike and especially no two bipolar people are alike! But I have said several times this is just me. I KNOW how to organize my thoughts and subjects of what to write beforehand; I even have it outlined it out for the next several months but as I sit down to type (this is where people do not seem to understand!) I look at my notes, type, and then the mind takes over and no matter how hard I try, I suddenly just have to write what is going through my mind that very moment. Suddenly it's like "you must write that or nothing!" Do you understand? I cannot explain it no matter how hard I try.

But listen...this will help...so far almost none of the above was what I was going to say before I sat down here! It definitely was now HOW I was going to say it...and as I hit the next keys on the keyboard, I do not know how it will end. I know how I THINK I will finish it, but I cannot be sure now...

But, I will continue to plug along with the hopes that if I keep going something good may come of this. I will however try to keep some of the pages appearances the same as you read but...who knows about that either?

I am tempted, very tempted to say what I want to write about in the next several weeks, (Remember, it's all outlined out!) but I have tried that before and it did not work. Just remember you are reading something that a person on the other end of your computer wrote who is suffering from Bipolar1, and the last several months my mind went from a few years of stable, almost predictable, to all the wires shortening out again and no one knows why...and I don't like it.  

"My Mind"