Sunday, September 18, 2011

Bipolar--Genes - Plus Much More

I just touched briefly - very briefly - the important role of the genes of our family tree has regarding passing on Bipolar to the next generation. The reason I said briefly, is because I have seen 35 page explanations with diagrams; DNA broke down; genes tracing and scientific names, facts and theories and words I will never remember if I saw them again, just to say what I said--by first hand experience--in one page.

What I failed to mention is that although we, the inheritors of these genes by our beloved relatives have an 80% greater chance of getting bipolar, there are MANY who have bipolar and it was never diagnosed in their family at all. So I guess about now if you passed the first test - bipolar genes not in you- you might be sweating again. Sorry.

Now, as you will read the last post, this one, and the ones which I hope with all my heart to be able to follow these up with, you might see a change in the "tone" of my voice I mentioned that comes from time to time. Don't ask me why, I don't know. I still feel the unstable moods that come and go during the day. Hopefully, my mind is letting me say some things I have been wanting to say, and have tried, for some time now.

What I am doing now is actually playing the game of chess. I love that game! I used to be real good at it until my memory and concentration started go fade. To be a master of chess, you have think (actually picture in your mind) several moves ahead of time. Between now and "checkmate" I am looking forward to providing you with information that I hope will help you and give you "food-for-thought" on other ideas. "Checkmate" will come when deep within here you will see a side of me that I don't think I could just come out and type it and hit the publish button. "Checkmate" will be the answer to a few questions about me that my doctor has not even asked.

Now, I just did once again what I said over and over again I said I will not do...tell you what was coming next...then my mind will not let me finish it. I feel different about this process though.

If I have had a stumbling block in my mind on writing about certain topics or expressing my feelings it is because I feel so inferior. I did not graduate from college and whether it's because of my illness or lack of education, I have a hard time "spitting" out what I really want to say. There are thousands of writers and can take my subject and polish it up and it better. OK...hang on to you chair....

SO WHAT? Hey, I do not write for Psychology Today or New York Times, I write a blog. It is my blog. I suffer from Bipolar I and the Manic Depression - Mania - (and little drip of Schizophrenia once in a while) in the middle of all that and I really think I doing pretty good...considering...what my thoughts are at the time!

Oh, there may be another little change. If able, I may through in some other subjects such as politics, religion, science, world events and so on. Just because as you read more and more about me and think maybe I should be locked up, does not mean I have my opinion on life on the outside also. Scan the news, read some of the horrible stories out there and tell me who is really insane...them...or me?

Meet you back here soon,

"My Mind"   

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