Wednesday, June 1, 2011

About the Author

Listen to the below video as you read this. When you are done, watch the scenes and then, in our own way we can then listen to it together because I am listening to it as I write this. It is so soothing to me!

Kenny G-Songbird

If you really want to know about the Author of this blog, this song, and the tranquility of the video is what I am! Oh, if you only knew! More than I would like to admit this is where I hide. I hide in my music, and in my daydreams, anywhere other than where I am at the time. My daydreams are so real to me! I can watch the above and almost smell the freshness in the air. I can feel the cool sand as I walk along the beech and let the waves cover my feet. I am laying on the beech for hours. My mind is so relaxed, nothing of any pressure comes in; no day-to-day worries that always seem to be magnified by my condition; my mind is so relaxed I feel the pressure and the release slowly disappear. The major and serious symptoms that caused me to this point is slowly fading away.

And we wander why suicide is so common with Bipolar 1? There has to be a release somewhere...whatever that may be, it has to happen! Some find the release in drugs, suicide, and yes, much worse. After over eight years of treatment; going through 3 doctors before I found the one that really does help me, my release is what you are listening to and watching right now. Eight years of treatment and combination of medicine and dosage that will at least help me 'get by'. Now, as you can see I have found other avenues of release that works for me, even though at times I wish I didn't have to 'come back'. We all are different but what keeps me going is God and my family. Without that, I would want to never come out of the scene you are now watching.

A movie star just reported she has Bipolar and is depressed. Looking back and seeing the signs of my life I have lived with "depression" when I was fifteen years old, and the rest of years (more than thirty :) has been slowly building steam to where it was eight years ago and where I am today. Depression? I wish that is all I had.

Anyway, I'll listen to this song once more before I hit the publish button. Just wanted to share a thought with you, and anyone else who can relate to what I am talking about. I want treatment, I am being treated, and I want to be with my family forever. But once in awhile, I will disappear into something like this video. It feels so good! If you are like me, I hope you find a release like this one that helps, and does not hurt.

 ~~We need it.

"My Mind"

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