"One Day At A Time"

I had another Dr appointment Monday. The good thing about the facility where I go, there is no waiting. Very professional and on time. I'd rather wait and hour, two, five - if she could pull something out of her hat and get this crazy unpredictable mind under control.

She looked at the usual form I feel out before she calls me in and sighs. We talked, mostly me - she writes - followed by a few questions, then at the end she will give me the news. "There is always many things that can trigger this big of a change, but I don't see anything personally that would justify you going from where you were all these years to this bad." The only thing she brought up was stress. My job has major, non-stop nine - twelve hours of phones, decisions, 120 emails, problems etc all night. I told her at the present time, there was no way I can change my career at this time in my life.

Since, like I mentioned before, all the medicines that I took faithfully and helped me "cope" does basically nothing. So here's what we ended up with (remember when you first start -trial and error? That's me all over again): We slowly took one away; added another but half a dose for 2 weeks then increase to full dose; changed the dose on another; and because of my hectic work schedule, changed the times I am to take them. Some morning, afternoon and night. I am on a total of four. One day soon I will go into more detail about my medication. I've tried so many, I'll compile a list and explain the best I can about them.

Still writing, or trying to write, the next one --Part 2.  Looks like it will be a much larger post than normal. While writing, thoughts come into my mind that I don't like, but at least I think I see an end in site.

"There are many reasons to believe that stressful events might bring on or worsen a psychiatric illness. If the underlying psychiatric illness or biological predisposition is sever enough, such events may play a role in suicide as well."

Kay Jamison

Be back soon. Until then...hang in there - don't give up! I have not yet, so don't you either!

"My Mind