Sunday, December 25, 2011

"My Christmas Wish"

    I love to watch children making their list for what they want for Christmas. It has everything you can imagine on it. See, they are smart! They know they will not get all that is on the list but they think the more they mention, there's a better chance they will get more, and it really doesn't matter because what they do get, they wanted...so they are happy! I am like a child here. This is my list for Christmas. It only has two things on it, but if I just get one...I'll be happy!

1)  Because I suffer from Bipolar I,  and it consumes my life daily, it is what I concentrate on in my writing. I try to mix it up with some information and updates on my condition, hoping it will help you. One thing I found out in studying this awful illness is that what helps me the most is to read something from someone and realize I am going through that very same thing at that exact point in time! It makes me realize I am not alone. That is the problem with this disease, we sometimes feel so alone. The foundation of this blog, and my desire is this:  we all share a common "demon" that only we can relate to, and we need to be there for each other to lift each other up when one of us is down.

Some of you that know me a little by now know I never for one second think I have it worse than the next person. As bad as I have it, I know for a fact there are many who are worse off than me. There are so many other mental illnesses out there that are far worse than mine, and I wish I could find the words to stress how my heart goes out to you! You have no idea; through all my darkness and my own trials, I am thinking of you.

My wish for this Christmas is that somehow, even if it is just for this one day, you will find the Peace, Love, Joy, Comfort that you so deeply desire and deserve! I Pray instead of the fog that could come over you, the "Light" that was visible when that little child was born two-thousand years ago will shine upon you this Christmas day and take away the misery so you can feel that happiness and beauty this life has to offer. I wish this with all my heart!

2)  My next wish is this: I mentioned how we sometimes feel down and need someone to lift each other up. I could use your help. If you have read a page or article that I wrote anywhere in this blog that maybe helped you, even a little, I would appreciate it if you would drop me a line and let me know. Sometimes, even though I see the numbers of those who visit my site, I feel so alone when I am writing. If when things slow down after this holiday, you could send me an email, comment on here, or wherever you see this blog posted, that would be a treasured Christmas gift!

May He Bless you always, from the bottom of my heart!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

"My Mind"

6 comments:

  1. hii this is BIttu anand from facebook this daily baatle is something that I have to deal with, but my symptoms are more like borderline personality disorder which comprises of social anxiety, depression and anger infact I m all the time in the disorder but when these emotion of sadness anger and anxiety they disturb me the most, but the other incresase my creative and imagination.

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  2. I too am a Bipolar I sufferer who never knows what each day will bring. I have let this disease take so much of my life and happiness away. I try each day to find at least one good thing in the day and sometimes your honesty and understanding in your blogs is the best medicine. I always feel alone, no one understands what this feels like, most just don't care, they think we just need to get up go to work and live their version of a "normal" life. I get so tired of being thought of as "lazy" and trying to live off the system. They have no idea and I don't believe they will ever have any idea. You are special just for being a survivor. The things you post give me insight and hope. Christmas Eve was wonderful, today is a little iffy.... Thank you!!!! Never stop!!!

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  3. sumit_y1: Borderline can be very difficult to deal with. When they all "colide" it is an extreemly hard to handle and it put you in a different total different state of mind than most. Part of my change in the last year is going from full blown Manic - Depression, awitch to mixed dtate then back again. I feel for you. Hang in there.

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  4. Anonymous- Thank you so much. Remember, keep looking for that "good thing" each day, and I believe if you keep an effort at it, you will be able to see it when it does appear. Remember what I said in a post some time ago: Every now and then, think of someone who has it worse than us, think of what they go through. It sometimes helps me. Listen, those who do not have this illness will never understand the smallest thing we go through, so long ago I just gave up trying. All it does is wears you out and makes you more frustrated (My experience). I am like you, I sit here and speak from my heart in the early morning hours, all alone. I click publish, and I am still here alone. You hang in there. I will be thinking of you. We'll meet on here again someday, and share a story or two of our victories we had!! Thank you for your comment!--"My Mind"

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  5. Everyday is a struggle I cry , I worry....I can't live life ....it's really sad because not living anymore seems to be the only solution.....I need help!...I've been on every medication you can be on and nothing works.....I'm just struggling......so sad

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  6. I am so very careful to give advise, because I am like you. About a year ago, I have changed for the worse. I don't know if you have thought about trying another doctor -maybe his/her approach may be different. Here is a good website: Healthyplace. They have so much information that can help.

    Please, hold on. Please hang in there. Don't let "it win." Do you like music? Reading certain type of books? Try to find someting you like to do, and when you are in that shape...the end...try that first. I feel for you, and wish I had a cure...more than you will ever know! Hold on. I am...do it also...for me, because I want to hear from you later that you are better. Bless You.
    "My Mind"

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