Tuesday, February 26, 2013

I Just Could Not Write...(Originally Posted 11/23/12) And so it goes on...

    It has been difficult to write.  I could list so many reasons and they all would be valid. But to be honest, I just closed my mind. The normal kept dreadful symptoms kept  coming and going...some stronger than ever....but I chose to let the skin that covers the brain keep all the feelings, thoughts, pain, and even nightmare within its walls and refused to let then out or share them with anyone.

I am hanging in there. I realize this monstrous illness has but one goal, and I refuse to let it win. I cannot stop what comes into my mind, but I can fight with everything inside of me to not let IT win!

I will leave you with a Quote. Read this carefully, then re-read it because within this quote is the ultimate goal of the disease that consumes my mind. I found In Night Falls Fast by Kay Redfield Jamison:

"What I had begun to discover is that, mysteriously and in ways that are totally remote from normal experience, the gray drizzle of horror induced by depression takes on the quality of physical pain. Because it is not immediately identifiable pain, like that of a broken limb. It may be more accurate to say that despair, owing to some evil trick played on the sick brain by the inhabiting psyche, comes to resemble the diabolical discomfort of being imprisoned in a fiercely overheated room. And because no breeze stirs this caldron, because there there is no escape from this smothering confinement, it is entirely natural that the victim begins to think ceaselessly of oblivion."

Novelist William Styron

"My Mind"

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