Tuesday, August 7, 2012

From my Heart to Yours

Many drafts lay in the folder of the blog waiting to be finished and published. Some, hours before, were burning in my heart and I could not wait until I finished them. Then, either the fire was immediately put out or slowly the dark mist came over me that causes me to loose all interest in anything. Writing is too much of a task. My Mind becomes tired. Of all the pages I have published I have went back to them over and over until that "feeling" is right. Tonight I am having a rough time so please overlook any mistakes in writing.

Even though the last two years I have live a live of unimaginable agony mentally, and went through several major trials physically; tonight I am thinking of you. I cannot get you out of my head.

You and I are for the most part are...all ...alone. No one can relate to us. Even our most dear loved ones who stand beside us and try their best to support us  - do not understand us. There are many who will disagree with me when I say that as far as my humble (for what-ever-it's worth) opinion:  it does not matter how long you went to school, what degree you hold, how many patients you treat...unless you live ALL the nightmares that comes with this illness day after long day; begging the night to come so maybe sleep will shield you - OR you wander what it would be like to just kept on sleeping so you won't have to face another day - you will never know what we really go through!

If I am the least qualified, but I'd like to offer some advice or suggestions to you.

1)   Facebook and Social Network Groups

I am happy to see thousands of you joining Bipolar and Mental Illness groups on Facebook and other networks. I am members of many on Facebook and I slip in from time to time to read the latest, click the "like" button and once in awhile comment. I read the dreadful condition you are in and am proud so very many offer support. THAT my friends is what this is all about! I will caution those of you who are new to this illness, please be careful - sometimes on there you are being given advice by many people who may not know or understand your exact situation or understand your problem. Watch the posts the administrator's put on their group site and read them carefully. More often than not you will find some answers to your questions.

2)   Blogs and Websites:

Spend the time to research and find the Blogs and Websites that you not only find interesting but will constantly "feed" you valuable information! This is critical. When I first started I subscribed to so many I was getting over 50 emails a day. OK, so I over did it just a bit. But the lesson here is find the ones you like, trust, and keep watching for them. Not all of them will apply to you "every time" but you will eventually find GOLD! For those of you who may just be getting started if you don't mind I'd like to recommend some of the ones I started out with, and have stayed with them because they are consistent and more importantly have a treasure of information for you. (I cannot list all my favorites so I'm sorry if yours are not mentioned here. I will continue to recommend sites at a later time.) Trust me; this is just a couple to start with as there are hundreds that are helpful:

1) bp Magazine

2) Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance

3) HealthyPlace

4)  Kay Redfield Jamison --Face Book

5) McMan's Depression and Bipolar Web

6) Bipolar Today

7) Healthline

Like I mentioned, this is a few that I enjoy and trust you will also.

 Finally and probably the most critical is:

3)  Please --READ; STUDY; DISSECT books written from the best you can find!

As I mentioned above, if I am going to try to help myself understand and learn what I am to expect with this illness of Bipolar (Manic - Depression) than I am going to study someone who not only devoted their life to this illness, but is also a patient. Of course I am talking about Kay Redfield Jamison. Here is just a short biography:

"Kay Redfield Jamison is Professor of Psychiatry at the Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine as well as Honorary Professor of English at the University of St. Andrews in Scotland. She is the author of the national best sellers An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness, Night Falls Fast: Understanding Suicide, and Touched with Fire: Manic-Depressive Illness and the Artistic Temperament. ...
She is coauthor of the standard medical text on manic-depressive illness and author or coauthor of more than one hundred scientific papers about mood disorders, creativity, and psychopharmacology. Dr. Jamison, the recipient of numerous national and international scientific awards, was distinguished lecturer at Harvard University in 2002 and the Litchfield lecturer at the University of Oxford in 2003. She is a John P. and Catherine T. MacArthur Fellow"

On the right sidebar of this blog you will find the three books mentioned above. Don't worry; I have not seen a dime from the sale of these books. These three books lay in front of me on my desk as I type this. I cannot imagine anyone not reading them. If you do not want to buy them, go to the library and check them out. If you have this illness, and are serious about learning as much as you can about it, there is no reason why you would not read at least these three. 

Well, my mind is shutting down. It's time for me to go. Keep pressing on; encourage someone when you can; and never forget there is a man behind this blog who although fights daily for every inch of peace of mind he can find, is thinking of you and hoping you are ..."hanging in there."

"My (Very Tired) Mind"


  1. I think this is a great. I mourn my father and son not having this connection to other people. I don't suffer the degree to which most of you do. Enough to know the difference between loving support and a comrade in hell. I was listening to a spiritual talk show yesterday. It was said "the gates of hell are locked from the inside". I say..We were'nt all given the key.
    I add that it causes problems believing all the self help guru advice that applies to people without mental battles. It doesn't apply to everyone. If someone tells you you can do anything if you put your mind to it.....
    What do you say?

  2. I appreciate your comment. Regarding your remark about the "self-help guru giving advice that we can do anything if we set our mind to it" really touches a nerve with me. Millions upon millions of books, seminars and websites are devoted to this and the ones who get rich are the ones promoting this. I will say though that in order to succeed you DO have to have the right attitude and frame of mind! The quote "YOU control your destiny" is nothing but bunk. We control nothing!

    As far as my illness; your illness; or anyone else's it is obvious there is not a cure. I believe in "faith" (Different than the topic above) - and am letting the doctors do what they want, and following their advise but I am also digging deep into my heart and soul for help - just to be able to make it!

    Bless you Lynne. I trust you will get better. Hang in there with me...

  3. Quite impressive blog you shared. We need to people aware about depression. As people get aware about it, depression can get vanish.


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